Clearing a Few Things Up

I thought I should probably right another post to clarify things about the last one(although I kind of doubt anyone's read it yet. If you haven't feel free to scroll down but I warn you it is long.) just so people would get the whole picture. When I wrote that post I was feeling depressed so I probably made it more depressing than I meant to. However, I'm not going to say that what I wrote wasn't the truth. It was the truth. I feel all those things I wrote about: I'm not happy with myself and the way I look. However, I am also doing things to improve myself. I've been working out a lot and have made it to some goals that I had laid out, I'm learning to play the guitar, I'm wanting to take Judo classes(unfortunately they're a bit expensive most of my money is going toward tuition), etc. So while I'm not happy with who I am and how I look I'm also trying to fix it.

The thing is we all feel these self doubts and self criticisms about ourselves. I doubt that there is anyone normal out there who is completely happy with who they are or how they look. It's just part of being human I suppose plus nowadays mass media has forced the idea of perfection down our throat and, let's face it, while it's easy to seem perfect in commercials and such it's impossible to be perfect in real life. Anyways while we all have these self criticisms the important thing is how we deal with them. We can either try to block them out through various methods such as self-medication(pot is my self-medication), or we can let them control or lives and be absolutely miserable, or we can do a thousand different things. Me? I keep my self criticisms locked up tight inside. I don't tell anyone about them and instead try to pretend like everything's going great all the time even though I could feeling like absolute shit. Why? I don't want to bother other people with my problems. That's kind of funny when you think about it. I really want to help people with their problems but I don't want people helping me with mine. Well that's not true. I would like people to help me with my problems I just don't want to tell anyone about my problems. I don't want to burden them with unnecessary worrying over me. I figure people have got enough problems of their own why should I bother them with my problems. Of course then things just build out and I need to find a release...such as writing a really long post about how miserable I am at the moment.

Anyway I figured I'd just clear things up. Like I said before feel free to read the post before this. It'll make this one make more sense.