"Well at least I've still got legs."

Bah I say. Bah! Today I took my (second) driving test and guess what...yep I failed again. However, at least this time I didn't completely fail it was more like I barely failed. I forgot to do some stuff like use my parking brake(who regularly uses a parking brake? I mean really) and shoulder check properly(but I've got make certain that there's no one on my left side...even if I'm turning right) and I took two turns a little fast(I didn't see the slow to 30 sign honest!). Apart from that I did okay I think. I'm going to get some official lessons so I'll be ready for my next test on the 3oth.

I guess what really bugs me about not being able to drive is that as long as I've got my 'L' I can't really ask a girl out on a date. I mean think about it: when you've got a car you can just be 'I'll pick you up at (whatever time you choose)' but if you don't have a car then it's something like 'I'll be at your house at (whatever time is needed) and we can take the 44 to Country Club and....' well you get the picture. It's ridiculous! You can't ask a girl out like that. It's just not cool man.

But as they say third time is the charm and it better be or else ICBC is going to get a bomb in the mail. I remember the good old days when you just went in there, took the test, and you had your license. Bada bing, bada bang, bada boom. Then of course morons who were unfortunately mostly in our age group had to fuck it up by getting in accidents through drinking and driving which of course led to getting themselves killed(personally I think that's Darwin's law in action) so now we all have to go through this shit because of the stupid few. This of course pisses me off to no end because I can actually drive well. I drive at least four or five times a week(albeit with my dad) and I do a damn fine job. My dad thinks I do a damn fine job. It's just when I take the test I screw up a bit because I'm trying to remember all the stuff I'm supposed to do instead of just driving(I know. I know. You're all thinking I should just relax and for the most part I do. Unfortunately I still screw up. Probably because the whole thing is so official.)

You know I personally look at driving the way I look at Stagecraft. I can help build a set. I can't remember half(alright more like 90%) of the terms from the first year but whenever we're building a set I'm there doing the jobs that people tell me to do(actually it's more like I'm there when we're forced to be there. I'm going to help out more this production I promise!). As for driving I can drive well. I can drive rather well in fact but I sometimes forget things like shoulder checks(still use my mirrors though!) and I can get a bit of a heavy foot(who doesn't?) and yada yada yada.

And there you have it: my rant on driving. I've got to say I feel better after writing and I'm definitely going to feel better later tonight when I spend some quality time with a friend of mine. I'll tell you all about him later on but until then I'll say a few things. First off he's a prince of a small island off the mainland, second he's blue, and third you underestimate him at your own risk.

So until next time stay funky, don't forget to take a ride on the crazy train, and, of course, I pray you not to disturb my circles.

Peace!

My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa Claus:

Dear Santa this year you probably want to know whether or not I've been naughty or nice. Well here's the news: I've been naughty....but it was worth it. So don't bring me any presents you big fat judgemental bastard.

With lots of Love and a Merry Christmas

-James Smart

Tales From the Bathroom!

Well I finally got a blog. I didn't really think I'd do it but eventually I decided 'What the hell'. Of course I'm not really certain what to start the blog off with as I'm not really feeling philosophical at the moment so instead I guess I'll write about a funny thing that happened to me Wednesday night after the opening of a Christmas Carol.

After the show ended me, Crowder and Kylan headed out to go to Gregoire's to hang out and smoke pot(originally it was just me but the more the merrier) but we decided that we were going to need more pot. So we went and got some pot(this part isn't really important. The important part is coming up) and then shortly arrived at Jordan's.

Now I had been needing to take a piss for a bit so I immediately made a beeline for the bathroom in Jordan's loft. Automatically I closed the door because that's what we all have been trained to do. Unfortunately I closed the door too quickly before Jordan could warn me in time. It turned out that the damn thing wouldn't open after being closed because the bolt was screwed up(it wasn't catching in the door or something like that). Of course I still took the piss because hey when you gotta go you gotta go but after I finished I was presented with a problem. I was stuck in Jordan's bathroom with no way of getting out aside from a small window that would be a pain to fit through. However, Jordan had a solution, a way for me to make the door open. This solution lay in using two knives to slide the bolt back a little bit at a time. Now anyone else would have been able to do this in no time flat but of course me being me made it so that this quickly became obviously fruitless. Other, lesser, men would have quit at this point but not me. Grit, strength of character, and a burning desire to get high kept my resolution strong. I was going to get through that door and smoke pot. I realized that I was going to have to think outside of the box at this point so I went through my belongings(luckily I had taken my coat in with me) to see what I had to work with. Wallet? No. Ipod? No. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead? Definitely not. Multi-tool that I got from Leon? Aha! Now we were cooking with charcoal! For you see said multi-tool came with a screwdriver head that conveniently matched the screws that were keeping the doorknob in place. It took a few mere moments before the door was sans doorknob. Unfortunately this turned out to do about diddly squat as the door remained just as resolute to be my obstacle as I was resolute to get through it. Still I could now at least see the other guys who were working hard to get me out of there. Their dedication and hard work was truly touching I must say(and I'm not being sarcastic. It was like I was trapped under a bunch of rubble and they were the firemen trying to get me out.). Anyway I turned my attention back to the door once again thinking outside the box. It was at that point that someone suggested(I think it was Kylan) to pop out the hinges. Brilliant! After receiving a hammer I got to work. The first one came out easily but the second and third were tricky devils but in the end the forces of good prevailed and I popped them out. Then in a stunning show of strength Kylan busted the door open and we all celebrated by getting really stoned, first with joints and then on the bong(oh Madam you are a cruel she).

So that's what happened to me on Wednesday night as well as my first blog post. It was an awesome get together and I had loads of fun kicking ass as a Jedi in Star Wars: Battlefront II. Light Side for Life!

Come back later for more adventures/philosphical expositions/rants/whatever and don't forget: I pray you to not disturb my circles.